Oddities.
Maybe because for tok i'm just supposed to stare at the question, stare at my essay, and think.
And thinking leads to...well thinking.
About nothing related to tok.
Not in any official assessment way anyway.
I really don't know what's going on anymore. The someone I longed for so much; I told her to fuck off. The someone I thought could make me happy, well makes me happy but.
No, I should really be happy with things the way they are. Life's wonderful.
Fuck you la jarrad (omg so weird saying my own name). Fuck you, why do you keep pushing her away then wanting her back. You can't even agree with yourself half the time.
I'm not sad. I'm just. Frustrated.
Qing (OMG HELLO) is right, I really need to prioritize.
But since when has studies ever been important to me? It's freaking naive but. Well.
I want to just disappear, forget about all these minor worries like tok, ee, ib, whatever.
Funny how I'm really only doing work because she tells me to.
I can't say for sure if I really meant what I said. I mean, it's true, but do I really not want anything out of it?
And I still don't know if it's reciprocated.
I'm really hoping for too much right now aren't I.
I guess I have this need to make someone's life better, though I'll probably be doing the opposite if anything I want to happen happens.
Ah just fuck it.
Maybe I just want a hug.
Maybe I just want to hug.
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